Safety Tips for Dating After Divorce

Woman texting while walking by a river at sunset

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You’ve done the crying. You’ve signed at least some of the paperwork. You’ve been to therapy. You’re ready to date. There’s just one problem: you’re a grown-ass adult and you know better than to put yourself in sketchy situations. 

As ever, Divorcist is here to help you live your newly single life with confidence. 

Be alert to romance scams

Sadly, dating apps are frequently used by scammers to get you to divulge sensitive information and even get money out of you. These people will use dating apps to gain your trust and get the information they need from you over time. A simple question like “what was the name of your first pet?” or “Which city were you born in?” can help a scammer get access to your personal accounts. 

Run a search on your date with Instant Checkmate 

Instant Checkmate makes it possible to run a comprehensive background check on anyone you’re considering meeting up with. The service searches public records to give you intel on potential dates. Use it to find criminal records, arrest records, addresses, real age, and known aliases. All you need is their first and last name and their city. If they have a shady history you won’t be in the dark.

How to run a background check on someone you met online

  1. Ask for their phone number (just say you want the option of calling them in case you’re running late)
  2. Use the reverse phone number lookup to find out their full name
  3. Use the name associated with that number to generate a full report 

Meet somewhere public

What do we tell teenagers about the internet? We need to tell it to ourselves too. When meeting someone for the first time, always go somewhere public. If they insist on meeting them at your house or their house this should be a red flag. Coffee shops and cocktail lounges are usually much better for conversations than sports bars and don’t have the same formality as a restaurant. 

Use the buddy system

Designate a buddy to check in on you. Tell them where you’re meeting your date and what time. If things go well and you change location to another bar or their house, drop a pin in Google Maps to show your friend exactly where you are. Give them an idea of how long you’ll stay and text them when you’re out the door or when your date has left. 

End the date early

Trust your gut. If something about the date makes you feel squirrely you don’t have to stay. You don’t even need to finish your drink. Remember that no one is entitled to your time or attention. 

How to end a date if you don’t feel safe

  • Tell them you left something (a sweater, medication) in your car.
  • Use a fake call app to make it look like there’s an emergency you need to deal with.
  • Go to the bathroom and leave by the back door. No one will mind you sneaking through the kitchen to make yourself safe.
  • Tell the bartender. Increasingly, bar workers are trained to help customers out of sticky situations. They can call you a cab or the police, or help you out through a discreet exit. 

Getting back out there can be daunting in all kinds of ways but safety concerns are no reason not to chase happiness. With Instant Checkmate, you can have peace of mind and enjoy yourself.