When I first got divorced, I don’t think anyone could have told me how to be single and happy. I needed to figure out it for myself. Here’s what I discovered.
I was plagued by concern when my ex initially left. I worried about my finances, my kids, and just about everything else I could worry about.
Fortunately, after the shock of being single again at 40 plus years wore off, I began to fall in love with my newly single life.
Learning how to be single and happy: my journey
Learning how to be single and happy is a different process for everyone
Every breakup and divorce is different. Your own journey to happiness will be different, and may not even look like mine, but it’s important to know that there IS a way for you to love being single, even if you haven’t found it yet.
You will learn how to be single and happy when you can love being on your own
Listy, Professional Dancer
Like myself, Listy greatly valued her newly-found alone time during her single life. She says that she “really learned a love about [herself] and found lots of empowerment.” She was able to devote more time to herself instead of focusing on a partner and referred to it as dating herself.
If you’ve never had the pleasure of taking yourself out on a date, now is certainly the time. Set the standard high for the next person who wants to take you out!
The freedom that comes with newly single life is unparalleled
Megs, Marketing Professional
Single life is easier when you spend time with great people
DJ, Medical Student
3 of the biggest tips that will help you love being single
After talking with my single friends and compiling my own experience transitioning to a single life, there were a few tips that seemed to be the biggest factors to our success. These are the three tips you should follow after your breakup or divorce that will help you learn how to be single and happy.
1. Consider your new-found freedom
So many of us make sacrifices in our relationships and give up opportunities to make our relationships work. Now that you’re newly single, you get to call the shots.
If you want to move to relocate for a dream job, you can. If you want to take time off of work to travel, you can. If you want to treat yourself to a shopping spree… well, you get the point. Being my own person again was one of the best parts of being newly single, and it’s something I won’t take for granted any time soon.
2. Take time for yourself
How long has it been since you’ve put yourself first? For many of us who have been in long-term relationships, some with children, it’s impossible to remember. It is so important to remember to take time for yourself now, especially as you heal and move forward.
Many of us feel lost and confused in our newly-single life, but this just means we get to find ourselves again. Take advantage of this time you have to yourself. What about you has changed? What are your interests? What are your goals and dreams?
It’s okay if you don’t know. That’s what makes this time so exciting. Getting to find myself and learn who I was truly helped me love being single.
How can you do it? Take yourself out for a nice dinner, sign up for a class that sounds interesting in your area, or try a hobby that sounds interesting. Now is the time to be selfish and give yourself the love and attention you deserve.
3. Spend time with friends and family
We’ve all seen the effects of isolation over the past few years being stuck in our homes away from our family and loved ones. It can be easy to fall into bouts of sluggishness during your breakup when you don’t want to get out of bed, let alone talk to or see anyone. But most of the time, it’s exactly what you need.
I wouldn’t have been able to get through my divorce without my amazing support system. Even though I was learning to enjoy my single life on my own, the loneliness crept in at times, and I always knew I had people in my corner who would be there for me when I needed them.
Don’t forget to call up your friends and make plans for yourself, even when you might not feel entirely up for it. Getting up and moving and spending time with people who love you will do wonders for your mental health. Just remember, if you’re feeling especially down or need someone else to talk to, therapy is always another option. There are always people out there who will want to support you and help you love being single.