Hot Take: Olivia Wilde herself was behind getting served onstage

“No,” said my lawyer. “You can’t. It’ll make him feel bad.” 

That was the response I got when I asked if I could serve my soon-to-be ex husband his divorce papers at work. I thought it was a ridiculous response. It would make him “feel bad”? Him? Feel? Bad? Him? This person who was causing me the kind of unrelenting pain that makes your hair fall out and your body not able to process food? We were supposed to worry about making him feel bad? It was all too rich. 

So when Olivia Wilde got served custody papers onstage “at work,” I was suspicious. My lawyer wouldn’t let me send papers to my husband’s office here in Wisconsin, but Jason Sudeikis was allowed to do it? I know celebrities aren’t really just like us, but come on. I didn’t believe it then and I don’t now, especially after all the nanny revelations

If I were a betting woman, and I am, I’d put money on Olivia Wilde having orchestrated the thing herself to gain sympathy at a time when she was in a deeply unsympathetic situation. 

The words facing out, the blue blazer contrasts perfectly with the manilla envelope. That’s sus.

And no, this isn’t like me. I usually side with the woman in these matters. But not when Harry Styles and Ted Lasso are involved. That’s another story. Look, I don’t blame Olivia Wilde for leaving her relationship of nine years plus two kids for the cool, bedazzled rockstar. Who among us wouldn’t answer the call of Harry Styles if he showed up on our doorsteps? 

I feel sorry for her. She messed up in front of the whole world and made herself the villain. We do stupid things when we’re in love. Most of us suffer the consequences in private. Not her. She had to live it out in front of us. But so did her ex and so did her children. And the nanny. And Florence Pugh. 

So I don’t believe for a second that it was a malicious act orchestrated by Team Jason. I know nothing about celebrity rich people life, but I know that lawyers don’t always let us do what we want. I don’t believe that all the people on Jason Sudeikis’s team would allow something like “public serving of custody papers” to happen. And I can’t believe that anyone on Wilde’s team, or, indeed, the venue, would allow a random person to walk onstage and hand her anything in the middle of a speech at CinemaCon. Unless Olivia herself gave the go ahead. 

Breakups suck and breakups are messy, but I simply don’t buy it. it’s a sad and cringey moment Olivia will have to live with all of her life, but it’s one I think she brought upon herself.