Fairytales are not reality.
As little kids we were besieged by fairy tales like Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, (and so on), training us that, as women, we MUST find a man. And to find a man, we must be a certain type of beautiful. A nearly-impossible-to-attain version of beautiful that presents in the form of a very dainty girl in heels being swept off her feet by a prince who barely knows her name! There’s got to be more to love than that.
The Little Love Story
Have you ever really thought about the premise of “The Little Mermaid” (1989). Ariel just… gave up her voice? To grow legs so she could be with a prince she didn’t even know? Ursula must have scared the sh*t out of her, telling her men don’t like women who have a voice, and convincing her that Prince Eric will love her more if she doesn’t speak. So messed up, right!? Granted, the film was made in 1989. “It was a different time!” (cue eye roll). Still, it’s these kinds of ideals that have generationally taught women to shut up and look pretty.
Real Romance
Real relationships don’t just end with the happy couple walking off into the sunset like the last scene of every romantic movie. Life continues and the honeymoon phase eventually passes – then is the true test of love. When you start to notice the imperfections and differences is when you really have to decide your non-negotiables and know your boundaries. (Do we want the same things, or are we trying to put together two pieces of a puzzle that just don’t fit? How do we get past our differences? Like… what if he is a slob??). Often, these nuances can become the cause of divorce or break ups — not that you’d ever see that in a Disney princess movie! Unfortunately, Prince Charming might not end up being quite as charming as he once seemed.
Contrary to what these movies made them out to be, relationships should be 50/50. A two way street. You scratch my back and I scratch yours. We are not helpless women that need to be rescued by some random man on a horse who will end up controlling the way the rest of our lives play out. We have opinions too. And we deserve to be heard.
Conclusion
There’s probably been a time or two in your life that you’ve watched a love story on screen and thought “if only that’s how it really was” (at least I have). Because, as much as we wish for a picture perfect romance, we know that the reality is a lot more delicate and complicated. And sometimes it becomes too delicate, and too complicated. Sometimes divorce is what will make your life “picture perfect” in your own way.
When the love story doesn’t pan out the way you expected and you find yourself being newly single, Divorcist is here to help build a circle of support so you can start over even better than before. And don’t forget about our gift registry! Our goal is to help every divorcee in any way we can!